Sometimes we look at each other and laugh because something that once left us completely confused about one another has become one of our funniest memories.
Now, getting to that point took some experiences and growth. 😂
We come from very different backgrounds. We brought different experiences, expectations, and the way we see the world into our marriage. Things that seemed perfectly normal to one of us sometimes made no sense to the other.
Our connection is strong. But we have had to learn how to understand one another, especially when our perspectives are different.
As we continue November’s theme, Living Fully, Loving Deeply & Giving Thanks, we’re making room for the beautiful and sometimes downright funny realities of sharing life together.
Because after 21 years of marriage, we have so much to be thankful for. Including the ability to laugh at ourselves.
We Brought Two Different Life Stories Into Our Marriage
When you build a life with someone, you bring along much more than your belongings. And woooo child let us tell you that can be a challenge if you let.
You bring what you witnessed growing up. How your family communicated. What felt respectful. What made you feel loved. How you handled disagreements and what you expected everyday life to look like.
And often, you don’t realize how much those experiences shaped you until someone you love does something differently.
Then comes that look.
You know the one.
The look that says, “Now, why would you do it like that?”
Meanwhile, the other person is wondering why there’s even a question. In their world, it makes perfect sense!
We have had our share of those moments. Sometimes our different backgrounds made it hard to understand each other. We could hear the words without fully understanding the experience behind them.
Learning that part of one another has taken time, honest conversations, and a willingness to reconsider our own assumptions.
We Now Have More Space to Laugh Thanks to Understanding
Some things feel very different once you understand where they come from.
A reaction that once puzzled us can become familiar. A difference that once caused frustration can become something we recognize, smile about, and occasionally get a good laugh out of together.
We’re laughing with a deeper understanding of each other now.
There is something beautiful about being able to look back and say, “We really didn’t understand each other then, did we?”
And then both start laughing because we remember it so clearly.
That laughter reflects growth. We have more context, more shared history, and more appreciation for the two different people who chose to build this life.
We can see the humor in things that were harder to see when we were still figuring each other out.
A Strong Connection Still Needs Our Attention
After years together, it can be tempting to assume we already know everything there is to know about each other.
But we’re still growing. What matters to us, what we need, and what we hope for can change with the season we’re living in.
Our return to Goodyear involved slowing down, praying, evaluating our lives, and having honest conversations. We needed to understand what thriving looks like for each of us now and what we wanted to create together.
Those conversations matter just as much as the big celebrations.
So do the smaller opportunities to connect. A walk. A shared meal. A few minutes to listen without rushing toward the next thing.
Love needs space in our everyday lives.
There’s a difference between sharing a laugh and making someone feel small.
The humor we cherish brings us closer. Both of us can enjoy it. There is affection in it and an understanding that we’re on the same team.
We also know that something funny today might have been funny at all at another time. Growth includes learning when to laugh and when to listen a little longer.
For anyone navigating differences in a relationship, a few questions may help:
- What feels normal to me because of how I grew up?
- What might I understand differently if I knew more about my partner’s experience?
- Is this a moment for laughter, curiosity, or a honest conversation?
Sometimes asking a better question gives us a chance to understand something we’ve misunderstood for years.
Giving Thanks for the Life We Share
This month, we’re grateful for the connection we’ve built and the people we have become along the way.
We’re thankful for the conversations that helped us understand each other. For the differences that stretched us. For the memories that still make us laugh.
And for the everyday privilege of sharing life with someone who knows so much of our story and is still right by your side helping write the next chapter.
For us, Thriving After 50 includes nurturing that connection. Continuing to learn each other. Making room for joy. And appreciating the humor that comes with two different people doing life together.
What is something about your spouse or someone you love that once puzzled you but now makes you both laugh?
We would love to hear your story.
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